How great the Father's love for us

I was thinking the other day about how Gregg is always talking about the Bible being God's love story to us (yes Gregg, I actually listen ;) ). If there's one thing that I want to feel more and have a greater understanding of, is God's love for me. Being a single woman of God who has never been in a relationship and if anything, has really experienced little more than heartache in the area of relationships, sometimes I just need to be comforted that I am loved and that there is someone who wants to know me intimately. The other day, God gave me a glimpse of his love story. This hasn't happened in months, or at least, I've been blind to it. The last time was after reading one of my now favorite books, Redeeming Love. The story is a fictional book that takes the story of Hosea and his marriage to a prostitute, and puts it into a more modern setting ( well, modern being the wild west). Regardless of the setting though, the beauty of this book is the journey this prostitute takes from feeling unlovable and unable to love, to able to love not only her husband, but God. More importantly, her love for her husband is inferior to the love she has for her husband. The love that Hosea, her husband, shows her helped me to parallel his love for her with God's love for me. Shane & Shane has a song about this chapter in Hosea (Chapter 2). It is definitely one of my favorite Bible verses and its one of the first places I look when looking for love and comfort. It helps me to better understand the depth of God's love for me.
"Therefore, behold I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt" (Hosea 2:14-15)


But this post isn't about this verse. Its about the most recent love song that God sang to my heart. I was getting ready to go to work the other night and just felt beat down and tired. I have been working a lot lately with little sleep and things at work are crazzzy! I was already feeling so encouraged by God with the trip to Quito working out and already being a witness to my co-workers but God once again knew how to make my heart leap. I picked up the Psalms and just began to read them aloud. Somehow, hearing the words aloud brought me to tears. It was as if I had never heard them before but I had. Some of the verses had been highlighted or were lines in worship songs. How had it meant so much more this time? I think that reading it aloud makes me hear it more, it makes me believe it. I think its easy to read, at least for me, and just do that. Read. I don't think about it or try to feel it. So often I just think "wow, great point or that's something I need to remember"....but I don't. I put my Bible away and with it, I throw away and opportunity to learn and grow.

God's been so good to me these past two weeks and He's reminding me, when I desperately need to be, that He loves me. That He's enough. That humans will disappoint me because, like me, they aren't perfect. He has to be enough. He has to be superior. He wants to allure me.

Miracle of miracles!!!

Xanga has become a bust as of late, so I'm trying out this whole blogger deal. I told myself I wasn't going to get a new blog just because everyone else was, but xanga is being pushy about paying to go premium so here I am.

So I'm leaving for Quito in a little over a month. I can't believe it and can't hardly wait. Just the journey to getting the "ok" to go from both of my jobs has been such a blessing, that I'm confident the Lord has me going for a reason. I honestly thought that I wouldn't be able to get it all worked out, but that's when got stomps my small expectations and shows me how awesome He is! I first asked me boss at the peds office, since I knew she goes on a ton of mission trips herself. It still wasn't easy though because I had JUST taken vacation the week prior to me asking about this trip. I thought for sure she'd think I was losing it if I thought I was going to take vacation again only 2 months after my last week off. But the Lord is good! She got back to me quickly and encouraged me to go! That gave me the courage to ask off in the NICU. All I needed to really do was get off New Years Day and work the weekend of the 10th so that I could just miss one day of work. Sounds simple, but in a job where we're now filling out our schedules for February and March, it makes it hard to do last minute planning plus we can't just get off on a holiday. Fortunately though God's provision was there. The scheduler called me at work on a day she wasn't even at work because she had been sick, just to support me in what I was doing and went ahead and switched me to the weekend. Now all I needed was to get off the holiday and register. Luckily there was still opportunity to register. I did so without knowing how I was going to get off on the first. Fortunately, God put me in front of the right person at the right time and I was able to work overtime last week to make up for my New Year's shift! GOD IS GOOD! And WOW! I was shocked. So now I'm going. I am still a little stressed about the money but I'm confident that God obviously wants me there so He'll take care of the finances too! I'm amazed at the goodness of God and excited to discover why He has me going on this trip! I can tell you that I'm already seeing the witness this trip is to nonbelievers. Since everyone has found out at work about my going on a mission's trip, I've been able to share my experiences on previous trips and what I'm going to be doing in Ecuador. I know that I can use the trip to continue as a witness too once I return. Right now I'm just praying for preparation for this journey. I'm humbled by this opportunity. I feel so unprepared and so like I'm not good enough to go but God reminds me that He uses the weak in spirit. I pray that I go with His strength and not my own.

To make this past week even better, Mizzou is #1!!! The greatest rivalry game between MU and KU and I Mizzou triumphed! And I got to watch (on tv and not in person unfortunately). I can't believe it! We are so close to the National Championship and to think, we weren't even ranked. I know it sounds crazy, but Mizzou winning helps me to make parallels between it and me being used by God. We can be under the radar all season, and God can still chose us to do incredible things! God is good!!!!

It was great to also see my family this past weekend. Since we may not get to be together Christmas and this was the first year my parents have been in Ohio the holidays seem all the more special. If you told me 3 years ago that it would be my parents in another state and ME in St. Louis I would have laughed in your face! When I was getting ready to graduate nursing school I was one visit to Houston away from moving my entire life to Texas. A place I had never even been to pursue a nursing career at the top cancer hospital in America. I'm sure it would have been a great experience but I am blessed to look back and see just what I've been blessed with by being here in St. Louis. It was a horribly difficult road, especially the first year but God has been gracious and good to me!

Anywho, I was just so encouraged by this week! I hope you are being encouraged by the mighty work of God in your life.